Holiday Blessings: Paying It Forward

 

So often, we hear of people who genuinely care enough about others to give unselfishly.   Priority Payment worker, Joe Desouza, has taken it upon himself to share in his “holiday blessings”.

 

Joe works in Merchant Financing - AEXP and has been a leading salesperson for several consecutive months.  Realizing that not everyone has the opportunity to create fluidity in their income levels, Joe has taken it upon himself to find one random person who may be in need of spiritual and financial uplifting during this holiday season and he has opted to pay $100.00 of their existing electricity bill.  This random act of kindness will make it possible for the recipient to use that “bill money” toward other needed supplies, gifts, travel, or even a well deserved holiday meal.

 

Although this is not an act initiated by Priority Payments, Joe wore his logo-embossed T-shirt as a way of letting others know that there is a local business that has caring employees.  Let’s all take this as an example and “pass it on” as we are blessed this holiday! 

 

 

Kudos, Joe!  Happy Holidays!  Now, how will you “pass it on”?

Stop Complaining - Just Pick Up Your Bed And Walk...

Last Sunday, my friends and I attended church together. We all sat together. We all heard the same sermon. But, when we went to brunch, we discovered that we had all taken something completely different from the sermon.

The text was this: Jesus Heals at the Pool of Bethesda John 5:2-9

Now there is in Jerusalem by the sheep gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew Bethesda, having five porticoes. In these lay a multitude of those who were sick, blind, lame, and withered, waiting for the moving of the waters; for an angel of the Lord went down at certain seasons into the pool and stirred up the water; whoever then first, after the stirring up of the water, stepped in was made well from whatever disease with which he was afflicted.  A man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years.  When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?" The sick man answered Him, "Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, but while I am coming, another steps down before me." Jesus said to him, "Get up, pick up your pallet and walk." Immediately the man became well, and picked up his pallet and began to walk. Now it was the Sabbath on that day.

From this one passage, we derived four very different, but poignant points.

Firstly, we looked at the fact that a the “play on words” was symbolic.  A sheep gate was a place where the sheep are allowed to enter the city.  But, the bible also makes use of the term sheep when speaking of followers of the gospel.  Sheep are sometimes of a communal mindset and these sheep (in either form) have become herded into one area while they sit and wait for a miracle.  

The pastor used this ideology to suggest that the church has been held captive by their own thinking.  People gathered to wait on a healing rather than continue to move forward with  their blessings.  The mentality of those who had gathered was no longer seen as hope, but, instead, as the lack of Faith.  The scene resembles an unfortunate "human lottery" based on the unrealistic expectation of being the one person who could be healed.  In likening that to the flock of the church, the pastor implied that many people who come to church gather only to complain about their afflictions, but have no real intent on ever stepping out on Faith and discovering their true healing.  Has the church become a place to gather and talk more about your transgressions instead of seeking your blessings?

Late Bloomers: Out Of Season Without A Reason

I had a great conversation with a close friend the other night.  We each took the time to look at ourselves and offer an affirmative conclusion about where we were in life and where we each needed to be.  Because I have always been outspoken and (at times) a logical thinker, it was necessary for us to  reverse roles and give candid opinions of one another in order to better survey ourselves.

This was the tricky part…

My friend is nothing short of a playboy; a self-proclaimed Casanova  of sorts.  He has lived on the edge of many situations I will never experience.  Admittedly, I have lived vicariously through his eyes.  His misadventures have entertained and intrigued me.  But, because we have very different backgrounds, I know I will never have the opportunity to “walk a mile in his shoes” and re-live any of the moments that he has encountered.

By comparison, he told me that I was a “late bloomer”.  I’ve been a recluse until recent years.  I’ve spent years going from one relationship to another with very little time for self discovery in between.  Because of this, I have always felt as if the glass was half-full.  Some of my experiences were wild – but well within reason.  Some of my actions were spontaneous – but they never took me off my course.  Most of my decisions were well thought – instead of thought provoking.

Until I Am Sure, You'll Be A Dream In The Night

Love is a splendid thing.  It can open your mind to possibilities that you never dreamed existed.  It can elevate your spirits when the world has seemingly beaten you down.  It can be the one thing that assures you that life is worth living.

But, what if the object of your affections is oblivious to your feelings?

Sometimes, the very idea of opening up your vulnerabilities to someone new can be immobilizing.  Rejection is a hard felt emotion and it can also serve a devastating blow to your self-esteem.  When you are unsure of whether or not your emotions will be returned, it is sometimes better to survey your relationship and wait patiently for indications of your feelings being mutual.

Harboring feelings for someone is nothing new.  What you do with those feelings can determine whether you live a life filled with secret fantasies or one filled with real happiness.  Personally, I have learned to speak my mind and move relationships forward.  Being open and honest can save you from having a dysfunctional friendship.  At least, then, you can work on placing your emotions in a more functional manner.  So, speak up and be heard.  Save yourself the heartache because knowing is only  half the battle.

A Dream In The Night

Sean C. Robinson, August 1988

Lost in confusion and total self bliss,

I've found the missing link between a dream and a wish.

A dream is a fantasy lived only while asleep

But, a wish has a compass; vast, far, and deep.

A dream can bring true the wish never thought

As your mind wanders aimlessly and your feelings are sought.

But, a wish is just a simple, momentary undertaking;

A grasping of things that are still in the making.

Now, my understanding of a wish and a dream

Have broadened my scope - or so it would seem -

But, still I'm confused and nothing seems clear

Because you are a wish; yet, a dream so dear.

With the dawn of each day, I wish for your sight;

Visions of love turned to dreams in the night.

But, if I were to approach with some indication

Would I strengthen our friendship or cause it's destination?

So I'll just remain a friend with heart-filled intentions 

And not risk losing you forever due to lovestruck mentions...

You see, this my confusion, my struggle, my fight...

But, until I am sure - you'll remain a dream in the night.

I've been called aggressive, straightforward, direct, and (on occasion) "mannish".  Actually, I am flattered by each of these adjectives.  I prefer to remove all doubt at the onset of a relationship because I have always been sure of my feelings.  I move with certainty in most aspects of my life.  I would much rather know that potential exists as opposed to stressing over probabilities that may not.

I welcome challenges, changes, and nuance.  I get the most pleasure by exploring the depths of my lover's mind, delving into the fantasies that only we can bring to life, and knowing that no relationship should ever conform to the boundaries of another.  Many may not understand the chemistry between another coupling - but, in my opinion, no one other than the two souls that are intertwined ever should.  The only way to fully enjoy your Yon is to become the perfect Yang.

To many, this can be appreciated because, even if I am wrong, I can forge a friendship based on truth rather than hidden agendas and lust.  Childhood crushes are for children.  When I was a child, I did childish things.  But, when I became a man, I put aside childish things.  If you are going through an emotional tug-of-war with your heart and mind, put an end to it.  Step up to the plate and swing.  You may just knock it out of the park...

But, this is only ONE Man's  Opinion...  What do you think?

What Goes Around, Comes Around...

I recently received an email from a female reader and she summed up her situation in a rather lengthy explanation.  Apparently, she was involved with a man who chose another woman over her, but he still opted to keep her as a friend and confidant.  Now, after spending some time as girlfriend #2, she has become the sounding board for her ex as he goes through problems in his current relationship.  At the end of that failed relationship, he has come to her for solace, but she confides in me that she feels like she should be saying I told you so instead of offering him milk and cookies and kissing his wounds.  In essence, she asks, "Should I feel good or bad because my ex's ex is treating him badly?"

As she explained in her letter, the mixed feelings that stemmed from the raw emotion of her love's rejection blinded her from running away from her lover-turned-friend.  She attempted to subdue her own feelings in exchange for a fake friendship that was held together by one-sided conversations and meaningless sex.  According to her, she continued to be in his presence with the hope that he would, one day, realize that she was everything he'd ever wanted; a non-judgmental friend, confidant, and friend. Still, she allowed this "friend with benefits" to date others freely as she lowered her standards and watched silently as the object of her affections carelessly played with her heart.

HBCU Freaknik: No Longer A Celebration of Pride

It's SPRING BREAK in the most densely populated collegiate area in the entire southeast region; however, Atlanta is no longer a viable destination for those looking to enjoy this much needed break from school...

It is sad... Although previous "Freaknik" celebrations have brought millions in revenue to the city of Atlanta, they will forever be looked upon as negative ventures because no legal permits or ways of tracking the positive influx of cash into the city's economy were properly filed. Instead, the Dogwood Festival (held on the same weekend) has continually benefited from the positive impact of the Freaknik spending while the largest HBCU Spring Break will only be looked upon as unwelcomed, disorganized chaos. When will the organizers learn that in order to become a welcomed attraction to the city, you must simply learn to know all the rules?

Having served on several of the city's planning committees and being a part of city council meetings and organizational plannings, the only problem the city has with "FREAKNIK" is the name.  I would like to officially toss my hat in the ring and seek out other organizers and promoters willing to lend their name to an upstanding event that the city can be proud to call an annual HBCU Spring Break.  By giving it a dignified name and a schedule of events that cater specifically to the collegiate arena, this celebration can serve as proof of the economic might of the African American dollar.

From Influence To Inspiration: Finding The Faith To Move On

Sometimes, life seems to be a road filled with stumbling blocks.  But, those who learn to navigate the troubles of life are the ones we look to as heroes.  

Sometimes, we find heroes in the most unlikely of places.  Rather than those who we consider to be upstanding in the community or pillars of truth, we find greater strength in those who have triumphed over diversities.  Whether they have overcome the hardships of bitter marriages, drug addictions, spiritual trials or fleshly battles, a hero can only be defined by those who are in need of direction at that moment in time.

As no one is truly able to ever "cast the first stone" in life, we all find influence and/or inspiration in those who surround us.  An influence could be either negative or positive.  They provide us with the tools and persuasions to move toward an obtainable goal.  They feed our minds with the energy of possibilities; yet, they do little or nothing to fuel our spirits.  Without them, the desire to reach the same goals may not exist or (with time) may wain altogether.

An inspiration; however, is completely different.  The inspirational anchors in our lives provide us with living examples of trials and triumphs.  They provide us with a reference point for situations in our lives that are paralleled by their own.  We draw the strength that we need in order to successfully endure our battles and believe in the possibility of overcoming adversities based on their public testimony.  

Think First: Is Cheating Really Worth It?

Because many of my blogs have focused on relationships, a large number of my more responsive readers are female.  However, I was pleasantly surprised to read a note left on a different blog in which a male reader sought my opinion on an age old topic. 

 

The idea of infidelity taunts anyone who is given reason to insecure in their relationships.  In short, the best way to avoid uncomfortable situations is to always think of your partner first... 

 

An anonymous reader writes: 

“I am hurt and don't know what direction to take! To make a long story short, I made a horrible mistake and, in return, I lost someone who was very dear to me! I just want an opinion from someone on how to start the forgiving process within myself.  This is something I don't think I could ever forgive myself for.  I really messed up and I don't know how to forgive myself for what I've done! 

Long story short...  I violated someone I loved by having someone else in their bed.  We didn't have sex, but the way it looked, we may as well have done it! Do I need to count this as a total loss or is there any way to salvage this relationship? I'm not a bad guy, I just made a major mistake and I'm hurt for hurting our possibilities....   What should I do?”

 

Please feel free to respond with your opinions as well… After all, the following is just ONE Man's Opinion....