Late Bloomers: Out Of Season Without A Reason

I had a great conversation with a close friend the other night.  We each took the time to look at ourselves and offer an affirmative conclusion about where we were in life and where we each needed to be.  Because I have always been outspoken and (at times) a logical thinker, it was necessary for us to  reverse roles and give candid opinions of one another in order to better survey ourselves.

This was the tricky part…

My friend is nothing short of a playboy; a self-proclaimed Casanova  of sorts.  He has lived on the edge of many situations I will never experience.  Admittedly, I have lived vicariously through his eyes.  His misadventures have entertained and intrigued me.  But, because we have very different backgrounds, I know I will never have the opportunity to “walk a mile in his shoes” and re-live any of the moments that he has encountered.

By comparison, he told me that I was a “late bloomer”.  I’ve been a recluse until recent years.  I’ve spent years going from one relationship to another with very little time for self discovery in between.  Because of this, I have always felt as if the glass was half-full.  Some of my experiences were wild – but well within reason.  Some of my actions were spontaneous – but they never took me off my course.  Most of my decisions were well thought – instead of thought provoking.

Now, as I find myself free of any relationship, I am beginning to experience things “first hand”.  People, places and situations that a single man would have encountered in his twenties and thirties are now commonplace.  In some instances, I feel out of sync.  In others, I find amusement.  As I feel around to find my own identity as a single male in this cyber-generation of roulette dating, I have been told that my value system is unlike any other.  I haven’t been so scorned by my past, so I still have a great deal of respect for courtship and relationship.  I am more mature, so I still believe in chivalry, commitment, and exceeding expectations. 

Oddly enough, my value system is outdated in today’s dating scene.  My friends tell me that I am overly optimistic and my expectations are unrealistic.  I believe that I only ask for a reciprocal stance.  For those reasons, I remain in a state of flux.  I’ve enjoyed some short-lived acquaintances.  I have been on both sides of good and bad relationships.  Now, as a late bloomer, I stand wide-eyed with nostrils flared – cautious, yet willing to entertain.  A part of me wishes that I had been free to experience more sooner, but an even greater part of me is gracious for having the wisdom not to try to experience the pitfalls I only hear tales about today.

“So, is being a late bloomer a bad thing?”

Honestly, I don’t know.  I feel out-of-sync with a lot of things, but I am still adventurous enough to entertain ideas.  I just do so with the realization that my spontaneity has offered me a youth that (in itself) can be attractive.  My wide eyes allow me to see a world where everything is still possible.  It is harder to find people with whom I can identify with because time and their experiences may have left them with bitterness and a broken heart.  I still believe that I will always be a terminal bachelor; however, I am not bitter about that.  I find that being a late bloomer places me in a class of my own. 

Although my friends would have me believe that I have missed out on a lot, I just revel in the beauty of being single.  To them, I say, “Have you ever had strawberries out of season?  They tend to be sweeter because they are truly a rare find….”.  After looking around at all the alternatives, I have concluded that I like being late…   Catching up is kind of fun!  Better late than never!