May You Suffer Just The Same...

May You Suffer Just The Same

written July 19, 2020

My heart has just been crumbled into a chalky, dark red sand.

I just can't go on loving you, I am no longer the same man.

Strangely, I don't feel your venom as it courses through my veins

But, even as my heart grows numb; each beat forces out new pains.

I never meant to become the villain in your day-to-day nightmare,

I've only wanted to cherish you and show you how much I care.

But, your secret rendezvous, midnight texts, and x-rated video dates

Have made me became your nemesis and you've already sealed my fate.

Now, other men have your attention, your friendship, and your devotion,

And I've lost my place in your frozen heart as it fills with my demotion.

You say that I'm the problem as your affairs publicly evolve -

And you wonder when I'll finally notice that we're no longer involved.

You've weakened every vessel within my broken heart,

And still, I cling helplessly to you as my whole life falls apart.

You've ciphered every single resource as if money grows on trees

As you disregard my feelings; as I no longer serve your needs.

To you, I'm no more than a nameless face in an ever-growing crowd;

Just another one of your super fans; a digital patron in the clouds.

I was, once, your handsome knight who saved you from despair

But your words of anger soon revealed that you never even cared.

You once felt safe In my arms: now, you hate that I'm still breathing. 

And instead of  mending our relationship, you schedule secret meetings.

I've sacrificed and lost everything, and still, you require more and more

And, like a fool, I work day and night while other men come knocking at my door.

You've drained of all my energy; I'm just a sheep being led to slaughter 

While you date others openly and laugh - but, not always in that order.

You've watched my barren soul descend deeper into your hell.

My best friend, your ex's brother, your mom's new beau - they've all been conjured by your spell.

Memories of our times together have been replaced - one after the other;

And I've stopped existing as I once was as I bitterly become some other.

Yes, it seems that I've  been fooled by love and I gave my heart too freely;

Thinking you'd reciprocate and not be so damned deceiving.

You see, a tiger never changes stripes, nor does a cheetah get new spots.

And I'm not the first, nor am I the last in your chain of broken hearts.

I choose not to warn your next victims - I have my selfish reasons; 

Maybe kharma will visit you and let vengance have open season.

To keep others guessing your true identity, you slander my good name;

Leaving proof of your affairs to be found by me while telling others I've gone insane.

Confusion caused by our back and forth have made our friends all turn away;

But that just means fewer prying eyes as you go about your day.

New suitors have ignored the signs that would deter a wiser man

As you continue using sex as your weapon of choice - over and over again.

So, willingly, I finally free myself from the torture of this game;

Knowing one day soon, you'll  meet your match and suffer just the same.

May You Suffer Just The Same.