Until I Am Sure, You'll Be A Dream In The Night

Love is a splendid thing.  It can open your mind to possibilities that you never dreamed existed.  It can elevate your spirits when the world has seemingly beaten you down.  It can be the one thing that assures you that life is worth living.

But, what if the object of your affections is oblivious to your feelings?

Sometimes, the very idea of opening up your vulnerabilities to someone new can be immobilizing.  Rejection is a hard felt emotion and it can also serve a devastating blow to your self-esteem.  When you are unsure of whether or not your emotions will be returned, it is sometimes better to survey your relationship and wait patiently for indications of your feelings being mutual.

Harboring feelings for someone is nothing new.  What you do with those feelings can determine whether you live a life filled with secret fantasies or one filled with real happiness.  Personally, I have learned to speak my mind and move relationships forward.  Being open and honest can save you from having a dysfunctional friendship.  At least, then, you can work on placing your emotions in a more functional manner.  So, speak up and be heard.  Save yourself the heartache because knowing is only  half the battle.

A Dream In The Night

Sean C. Robinson, August 1988

Lost in confusion and total self bliss,

I've found the missing link between a dream and a wish.

A dream is a fantasy lived only while asleep

But, a wish has a compass; vast, far, and deep.

A dream can bring true the wish never thought

As your mind wanders aimlessly and your feelings are sought.

But, a wish is just a simple, momentary undertaking;

A grasping of things that are still in the making.

Now, my understanding of a wish and a dream

Have broadened my scope - or so it would seem -

But, still I'm confused and nothing seems clear

Because you are a wish; yet, a dream so dear.

With the dawn of each day, I wish for your sight;

Visions of love turned to dreams in the night.

But, if I were to approach with some indication

Would I strengthen our friendship or cause it's destination?

So I'll just remain a friend with heart-filled intentions 

And not risk losing you forever due to lovestruck mentions...

You see, this my confusion, my struggle, my fight...

But, until I am sure - you'll remain a dream in the night.

I've been called aggressive, straightforward, direct, and (on occasion) "mannish".  Actually, I am flattered by each of these adjectives.  I prefer to remove all doubt at the onset of a relationship because I have always been sure of my feelings.  I move with certainty in most aspects of my life.  I would much rather know that potential exists as opposed to stressing over probabilities that may not.

I welcome challenges, changes, and nuance.  I get the most pleasure by exploring the depths of my lover's mind, delving into the fantasies that only we can bring to life, and knowing that no relationship should ever conform to the boundaries of another.  Many may not understand the chemistry between another coupling - but, in my opinion, no one other than the two souls that are intertwined ever should.  The only way to fully enjoy your Yon is to become the perfect Yang.

To many, this can be appreciated because, even if I am wrong, I can forge a friendship based on truth rather than hidden agendas and lust.  Childhood crushes are for children.  When I was a child, I did childish things.  But, when I became a man, I put aside childish things.  If you are going through an emotional tug-of-war with your heart and mind, put an end to it.  Step up to the plate and swing.  You may just knock it out of the park...

But, this is only ONE Man's  Opinion...  What do you think?