Stop Protesting and Start Studying The Laws That Truly Govern

In a page torn from the history books of the 1960s civil rights movement, we witnessed Senator John Lewis and other Democrats "sit in" and protest against current gun legislation.  Although I have to applaud the Senator for his valiant efforts to bring about change, we must realize that these tactics are both ineffective and outdated.

As time has marched brutally forward, new innovations have taken hold and we must learn to embrace these changes if we are to impact any type of civil legislation.  The Republicans simply snubbed the idea of a sit-in and moved on with their day.  They ignored the Democrats because the gun lobbyists who line their pockets with hush money were not impacted by the idea of a room full of protesters who barely took up fifteen minutes on the evening news.  Paul Ryan was even quoted as being completely dismissive by saying, "...this is a stunt because they know it is not going anywhere." 

So, if the Democrats already knew that the bill had failed to receive the required number of votes to be passed into law, what good was a civil protest?  We must realize that the civil rights tactics used in yesteryear's history books were only effective when they  began to negatively impact the pockets of big business.  

So Much More Than #BlackLivesMatter; But This Begins The Conversation...

I recently had a conversation with a friend who was appalled by the fact that each time black America makes an attempt to bring about civil justice, we are often overshadowed by other "causes" that adopt our stance as their own.  This bandwagon mentality seemingly allows others to water down the importance of our initial message, and then, point the finger back at us as if we are being insensitive to their rights.  

A perfect example of this is the #BlackLivesMatter movement that - for a while - held social significance in the minds of America.  Now, there are so many #LivesMatter campaigns out there that the poignant facts of the original campaign have suddenly been singled out as counterproductive and separatist.  Instead of focusing on the disproportionate number of black lives lost to police brutality, we now have to acknowledge that #BrownLivesMater, #BlueLivesMatter, #RedLivesMatter and #YellowLivesMatter as well.  

Actually, #AllLivesMatter.  But, it is necessary at this point in history to focus on the inequalities that plague police - minority relationships while we have national attention. 

No matter which #LivesMatter approach we use to start the conversation, the end results should be the same: 1) Better police - community relationships, 2) End racial / class profiling, and 3) Mandatory external review of all officer involved shootings.  Better governance of police interactions may lead to the necessary changes to the laws that continually allow these injustices to continue.  In short, some laws must be added to the "books" that police the police. 

#BlueLivesMatter: Yes, intensive psychological reviews and treatment of PTSD for our men in blue must be in place as well.  Then, we'll need more community interaction, intervention training, and a serious dialogue between police and the communities hey protect.  We must acknowledge that there is loss on both sides of this situation, but, in order to fix the problem, we, first, have to agree to speak about what brings us to this "table" of communication.

May Your Haters Motivate Your Success

Now, I've finally "got it"...
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For the last eight months, I have been wrestling with an onslaught of accusations at work that were attempts to diminish my character.  I have been called into repeated meetings and falsely accused of starting scuttlebutt among my peers.  Defenseless, I willfully accepted the few indiscretions I had made as "passing jokes" and, as always, accepted my ownership of any misgivings.
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You see, I am the culmination of all the teachings in my life.   My mother raised nine honest children.  She taught us that the best way to resolve a situation was to accept your faults and work on improving them.  Later in life, the military taught me to neither accept nor offer  excuses; resolve problems quickly by identifying the issues and eradicating the cause.  More recently, as a business owner, I have taught myself the skills of "poka-yoke"; a Japanese term that means "mistake proofing".  This means that I look for issues on the onset of a solution and, then, mistake-proof my next steps.
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All of this "mental conditioning"; however, could not prepare me for the obvious deceptions of others who only seek to gain for themselves.

Victory Is Yours!

Victory Is Yours

Sean C. Robinson, October 2015

I hope that whatever was troubling you yesterday has passed -

Just remember that bad things are finite; they don't always last.

But, it is during these times that we find our true inner strengths

By pushing beyond our boundaries and going to greater lengths.

We re-build, we re-define, we re-state, then move forward.

And, when this trial is done, it's our character that is rewarded.

So, although it may seem as if troubles were meant for destruction

Be consoled in the fact that you’ve undergone a personal re-construction.

The world now sees you standing on a much more solid foundation,

Your character has been defined by overcoming this harsh tribulation.

So, as you hold your head high and walk with newfound pride

Realize that yesterday is gone - and you still have your stride.

You are surrounded by many who can offer strength and kind words

But it is you who has triumphed and now your voice can be heard.

It is by facing a new day with a bright smile and great cheer

That you show the world you’ve conquered sorrows and claimed victory over fear!

Oddly enough, I wrote this poem for a co-worker when it appeared that she was dealing with a lot of external issues.  We'd never discussed what was bothering her; I just saw the look of worry and frustration on her face as she walked by me one day....   I just wanted her to know that someone cared.  

Today, as I was going through my emails, I saw this and actually used the words to ease my own tensions.   Sometimes, we have to take the advice we so willfully give others....

But, as, this is just ONE Man's Opinion... What is yours?

Winning The Relationship War

The romance should never end... 

Sometimes, in order to gain ground in your relationships, you have to, first, take the time to understand and resolve any ongoing issues.  Recently, I was engaging a colleague and recommended that she try these "exercises" at home in order to bring some cohesion to her marriage.  In a matter of months, she reminded me oof our initial conversation and that her results were extremely successful, although it did require commitment to betterment on both sides.  After hearing this, I thought I would pass these little points of interest along ... 

  

Date Night

You two are required to have a “date night” once a week.  You can accomplish this by going out, eating dinner alone on the patio, cuddling up for a movie, washing cars together, or even picking out each others clothes for a week.…  During “date night”, no one is allowed to complain about anything, but you do get to talk about what makes you happy that you are together.  You can only complement each other and be as nice as possible.  Who knows – one of you might get lucky before the night is over! 

Fight Night or "The Punch Pouch"

Fighting is actually good for a relationship.  But, like professional boxing, fights should have rules, time outs, and "no hitting below the belt".  Instead of arguing daily, just write down what your thoughts and place them in a brown bag or pouch.  Once a week, you each have to read one thought that the other had during the week and resolve the issue without arguing.  This gives you both time to "cool off" from a heated debate and resolve the issue after you have each had time to consider your actions, your contribution to the chaos, and your partner's feelings.  Your discussion is limited to one hour and the "winner" should be awarded with an apology and a kiss.  Sorry, no real punches allowed.  

 Listening & Learning

If you cannot resolve an issue on a given topic; money, kids, career, etc. then here is a secondary use for that "punch pouch".  Write down a topic you would like to discuss and set aside a day and time to get serious about a decision.  But, before attempting to resolve anything or re-stating your own ideas, each of you has to re-state exactly what the other person thinks about the topic.  That will prove that you are listening and it may even make you two understand each other more.  After being able to state how the other feels, come to a resolution that has both solutions in one.

Sometimes, the only thing we need to do is observe a situation from a different perspective.  In order for any situation to work, all parties must be considered equally.  By taking the time to hear, rephrase, and re-speak what your partner desires from you, we can gain more than there is to lose.

Try one or all of these strategies in your relationship and let me know if they work for you....