May Your Haters Motivate Your Success

Now, I've finally "got it"...
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For the last eight months, I have been wrestling with an onslaught of accusations at work that were attempts to diminish my character.  I have been called into repeated meetings and falsely accused of starting scuttlebutt among my peers.  Defenseless, I willfully accepted the few indiscretions I had made as "passing jokes" and, as always, accepted my ownership of any misgivings.
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You see, I am the culmination of all the teachings in my life.   My mother raised nine honest children.  She taught us that the best way to resolve a situation was to accept your faults and work on improving them.  Later in life, the military taught me to neither accept nor offer  excuses; resolve problems quickly by identifying the issues and eradicating the cause.  More recently, as a business owner, I have taught myself the skills of "poka-yoke"; a Japanese term that means "mistake proofing".  This means that I look for issues on the onset of a solution and, then, mistake-proof my next steps.
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All of this "mental conditioning"; however, could not prepare me for the obvious deceptions of others who only seek to gain for themselves.

My "truth" is this: I get along with everyone - until you prove yourself unworthy of my trust.   Since I know I will not lie to you, I do not expect you to lie to me. I treat everyone the same.  I am often considered a "social butterfly".  I float easily from one conversation to another; holding no prejudices and learning from all who offer valuable input.  I open doors for women, assist the elderly, and even offer rides to co-workers who are stranded.  In some circles, this can prove to be beneficial.  But, when working with a group of people who have their own agendas, this same skill can easily become a double-edged sword.

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I never thought any of my personal traits could be used against me.

I enjoy my job and I execute activities with ease.   I am constantly thinking "outside the box" in order to assist others in any way I can.  Because they can find no flaws in my workflow, others have used my "truths" to try to diminish my character.  Apparently, I have been singled out by others as a "trouble-maker" by those who would rather not disturb the status quo.

Remain aware of your surroundings at all times.  Envy, spite, and  jealousy can materialize as playful banter around the water cooler or in the form of constant criticisms of your performance by peers.

Their untruths (lies) become easy to weave into my daily occurrences because I am seen talking to everyone and laughing as I work.   I rarely complain as I look to everything as a challenge that must be overcome.   I seldom ask for assistance because I'd rather learn through experience as opposed to relying on others to continually shoulder my responsibilities.  

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Strategically, some have used my truths as fuel for their own deceptions.  Because my integrity had been questioned, I tried every way I know to correct the issues.  Yet, they persisted.  I'd stopped going to lunch with some and stopped talking to others.  I'd even honed in on my daily tasks and become reclusive.  After four more closed-door meetings, my blood pressure rose to within heartbeats of a stroke.  I've spent hours trying to figure out what I had done wrong.  And, each time I corrected one behavior, another was called into question.  Even saying, "thank you" was misinterpreted as a personal challenge to leadership.  But, then, it finally hit me:  I've done nothing.
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So, as of today, I've humbled myself so as to not confuse my confidence with being perceived as arrogance.  I have finally stopped worrying about what I was doing wrong and focused on all that I am doing right...  I understand now that this character assassination was a necessary evil in order to return office rhetoric to their "norm"; a place where favoritism among colleagues outweighs the tenacity to accomplish a task - both correctly and efficiently.
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The way I see it, their angst could stem from many of their own, personal flaws - having nothing to do with me.  Sadly, many underachievers find it easier to challenge others instead of challenging themselves.

Oddly enough, as soon as I stopped playing their game of cat and mouse, the complaints about my behavior ceased as well.  Because I have failed to give these "haters" any energy by simply refusing to acknowledge their taunts, they have moved on to the next victim of their perceptions.  Soon enough, they will be exposed as the true "trouble makers" as they continually prompt unwarranted attention towards others.

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Hating is a human trait that can be fueled by attention and smothered by neglect.

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We all do it...  Overweight armchair quarterbacks criticize great athletes for missing "easy" goals; knowing they would never achieve the same level of success.  Bullies taunt the smarter kids in class because they, themselves, have failed to study.  And, even I occasionally curse slow-moving traffic because I've failed to leave home early enough to get to work on time....   Sometimes, we all "point the finger" instead of accepting our own faults.  It's just easier to blame someone else - who isn't doing anything wrong - just to cover up for our own shortcomings.
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So, what do I do now?  Nothing.  As I said, I've figured it out.... And, knowing (I've been told) is half the battle...   But, then again, this is just ONE Man's Opinion... What is yours?