381 Days

381 Days…

The Montgomery Bus Boycott lasted for a total of 381 days….

Initially, the movement started slowly.  Not everyone was willing to forsake their livelihood to join, yet, another movement that may yield no result.  As time marched on, more and more joined the effort and – through organization of resources – the marchers were able to orchestrate carpools and taxi services.  This, too, was attacked but the movement was uninterrupted.  Finally, the movement began to impact the income potential of the city as a whole.  Bus drivers were getting laid off, stores were closing, and revenue was lost. 

 

You see, for 381 days, Americans of color sacrificed a convenience to show their disdain for the level of disrespect shown them. The boycott was a visible demonstration that held an economic impact that took a year to be felt in the pockets of the entire community.  As long as we walked in the rain and snow, they were unmoved.  As long as it took hours to walk to and from work, they were unmoved.  As long as it took hours to walk to feed our families, they were unmoved.  The boycott was only effective when it began to cause other Americans to lose jobs, lose income, and face the probability of having to, finally, “go without”. 

Sore Winners: Let The Side Show Begin

Have you ever dealt with a “sore winner”?

In sports, we'd call it "un-sportsman-like conduct".  It entails taking one bow too many, a victory dance on the other team's logo, or going to an extreme when taunting your competition.   Essentially, a “sore winner” is a person who does not know when a battle has ended and maintains an argument long after the discussion is over.  They may continue to bring up old facts that strengthened their beliefs after you have already conceded to allow them to “win” a given argument or assume a certain role.  They may continually brag about their “being right” or their “being better” at something so much until you begin to regret receding to them because you thought that, by doing so, you would avoid your current situation.

What is worse is when you have a sore winner who wins based on treachery and deceit, then proceeds to act as an antagonist who brags about their deceitful win.  When you see people who are rewarded based on favoritism rather than skill, yet they remain arrogant; it can be disheartening.  But then, you have to realize that maybe – just maybe – they are oblivious to just how foolish they are making themselves appear to others.  You see, you cannot remain arrogant and still focus on your required tasks at hand. 

Sooner or later, favoritism wears thin. 

Women Don't See What Men Actually Want

I am fortunate enough to work in an office filled with beautiful women.  They hail from the coasts of Africa, Haiti, the Bahamas and almost every major city within these United States.  Every day is an international parade of beauty - but, their beauty is so much more than what meets the eye.

When I was a child, my older brother told me to always acknowledge any change in a woman's appearance, any enhancement to her profile, and every smell and color that will bring blush to her cheeks.  According to Larry, "Women take the extra time each day to do something worthy of your attention.  If you fail to notice, you have done yourself a disservice."

My brother passed away in 2006, but he lives on in the words and actions with which I choose to interact with others each day.


Today, I am a firm believer that every woman is beautiful.  Women hold the cradle of life in their stride and each one has the ability to control the palpitations of any man's heart with a simple glance in their direction.  They are mystical, magical, and yet, mysterious; intriguing in every way.   You see, no two are alike and therefore; women are to be treasured for their differences rather than measured by their similarities

In saying that, I had to encourage a co-worker one day because she insisted that she was gaining weight.  I told her she was beautiful just as she was. She turned to me and said, "I don't believe you.  You say that to every woman."  I agreed with her and then, I expounded.

"Every woman has a value that differs from the next. A "good man" isn't looking for the woman with the perfect shape, the perfect hair, and the perfect libido.  Although each or all of these things could be an asset, they are not the qualities that a real man uses when he is searching for a "good woman" to call his own.  A truly "good man" wants to know that you can engage his mind and challenge him to want to achieve more.  In essence, you have to be able to arouse his intellect as well as his loins..."

American Justice: In Black And White

Racial disparities in America are not an issue; however, the laws that govern our people are...

A Wikipedia search substantiates the fact that racial rioting is not new to America.  Since the early 1800s, this country has gone through over more than 120 racially motivated riots that disproportionately left thousands of minorities dead although they, themselves, were rarely the catalyst for the violence that ensued.  Tear gas, live ammunition, fires and smoke bombs seem to be "standard procedure" in instances where race is the dividing line in any given issue.

Native Americans have been reduced to living on reservations.  Blacks and brown communities remain under-educated and under-employed in vast numbers.  And, history has all but forgotten that Tulsa, OK, was the first city in America to be bombed from the air - destroying an entire city of African Americans simply because they were more successful than their surrounding non-black neighbors who were jealous of their economic success.

At some point, we have to review the commonalities of these racial riots and begin to seek a real resolve.  Short-term laws and public apologies are simply "band aids" that pacify problems.  However; we never deal successfully with the problems at hand.  If America is to attempt to "fix" the issues of policing in minority communities, we must, first, change the stereotypical perception of our American minorities.

We must offer solutions for the underlying issues of poverty, mis-education, and unemployment that systematically plague communities of color and the poor.  It is necessary to deal with these issues of head first.  The immediate issue is racial; but, we have to realize the]at this is just the surface of a much larger issue.  Policing in under-served neighborhoods (be they black, white, or brown) is the same across the board.  But, acknowledging that we have an issue with race seems to spark debate solely because few are willing to endure the initial rush of emotions that result from beginning a conversation.

Both, classism and racism combine to produce a perfect storm of mixed emotions that erupt into civil unrest.   More than any other country in the world, the "land of the free" has continually promoted racial oppression, and a segregated justice system.   Oddly enough, the only common denominator in all of these riots is "fear of what could have happened".

Right Where You Are Is Right Where You Should Be

Anyone who knows me knows that my mother is my best friend.

There no secrets between us and we talk about every topic from A to Z with such honesty that I often adopt her perception as my own.  It is through my conversations with her that I am able to analyze situations and come to conclusions that guide me through this journey called life.  She is the rudder that guides my vessel and keeps me anchored in truth.

In my most recent conversation with her, we stumbled across a realization that we are both RIGHT where we are supposed to be in life.  In saying that, I challenge you to think of the position that you hold in the lives of those around you.  You, in your own unique way, are a rudder that guides others toward a decision.  Whether you are a positive or negative influence, a help or a hindrance; you exist for a reason and you are RIGHT where you are supposed to be.

Stop Protesting and Start Studying The Laws That Truly Govern

In a page torn from the history books of the 1960s civil rights movement, we witnessed Senator John Lewis and other Democrats "sit in" and protest against current gun legislation.  Although I have to applaud the Senator for his valiant efforts to bring about change, we must realize that these tactics are both ineffective and outdated.

As time has marched brutally forward, new innovations have taken hold and we must learn to embrace these changes if we are to impact any type of civil legislation.  The Republicans simply snubbed the idea of a sit-in and moved on with their day.  They ignored the Democrats because the gun lobbyists who line their pockets with hush money were not impacted by the idea of a room full of protesters who barely took up fifteen minutes on the evening news.  Paul Ryan was even quoted as being completely dismissive by saying, "...this is a stunt because they know it is not going anywhere." 

So, if the Democrats already knew that the bill had failed to receive the required number of votes to be passed into law, what good was a civil protest?  We must realize that the civil rights tactics used in yesteryear's history books were only effective when they  began to negatively impact the pockets of big business.  

So Much More Than #BlackLivesMatter; But This Begins The Conversation...

I recently had a conversation with a friend who was appalled by the fact that each time black America makes an attempt to bring about civil justice, we are often overshadowed by other "causes" that adopt our stance as their own.  This bandwagon mentality seemingly allows others to water down the importance of our initial message, and then, point the finger back at us as if we are being insensitive to their rights.  

A perfect example of this is the #BlackLivesMatter movement that - for a while - held social significance in the minds of America.  Now, there are so many #LivesMatter campaigns out there that the poignant facts of the original campaign have suddenly been singled out as counterproductive and separatist.  Instead of focusing on the disproportionate number of black lives lost to police brutality, we now have to acknowledge that #BrownLivesMater, #BlueLivesMatter, #RedLivesMatter and #YellowLivesMatter as well.  

Actually, #AllLivesMatter.  But, it is necessary at this point in history to focus on the inequalities that plague police - minority relationships while we have national attention. 

No matter which #LivesMatter approach we use to start the conversation, the end results should be the same: 1) Better police - community relationships, 2) End racial / class profiling, and 3) Mandatory external review of all officer involved shootings.  Better governance of police interactions may lead to the necessary changes to the laws that continually allow these injustices to continue.  In short, some laws must be added to the "books" that police the police. 

#BlueLivesMatter: Yes, intensive psychological reviews and treatment of PTSD for our men in blue must be in place as well.  Then, we'll need more community interaction, intervention training, and a serious dialogue between police and the communities hey protect.  We must acknowledge that there is loss on both sides of this situation, but, in order to fix the problem, we, first, have to agree to speak about what brings us to this "table" of communication.

May Your Haters Motivate Your Success

Now, I've finally "got it"...
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For the last eight months, I have been wrestling with an onslaught of accusations at work that were attempts to diminish my character.  I have been called into repeated meetings and falsely accused of starting scuttlebutt among my peers.  Defenseless, I willfully accepted the few indiscretions I had made as "passing jokes" and, as always, accepted my ownership of any misgivings.
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You see, I am the culmination of all the teachings in my life.   My mother raised nine honest children.  She taught us that the best way to resolve a situation was to accept your faults and work on improving them.  Later in life, the military taught me to neither accept nor offer  excuses; resolve problems quickly by identifying the issues and eradicating the cause.  More recently, as a business owner, I have taught myself the skills of "poka-yoke"; a Japanese term that means "mistake proofing".  This means that I look for issues on the onset of a solution and, then, mistake-proof my next steps.
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All of this "mental conditioning"; however, could not prepare me for the obvious deceptions of others who only seek to gain for themselves.