Until I Am Sure, You'll Be A Dream In The Night

Love is a splendid thing.  It can open your mind to possibilities that you never dreamed existed.  It can elevate your spirits when the world has seemingly beaten you down.  It can be the one thing that assures you that life is worth living.

But, what if the object of your affections is oblivious to your feelings?

Sometimes, the very idea of opening up your vulnerabilities to someone new can be immobilizing.  Rejection is a hard felt emotion and it can also serve a devastating blow to your self-esteem.  When you are unsure of whether or not your emotions will be returned, it is sometimes better to survey your relationship and wait patiently for indications of your feelings being mutual.

Harboring feelings for someone is nothing new.  What you do with those feelings can determine whether you live a life filled with secret fantasies or one filled with real happiness.  Personally, I have learned to speak my mind and move relationships forward.  Being open and honest can save you from having a dysfunctional friendship.  At least, then, you can work on placing your emotions in a more functional manner.  So, speak up and be heard.  Save yourself the heartache because knowing is only  half the battle.

A Dream In The Night

Sean C. Robinson, August 1988

Lost in confusion and total self bliss,

I've found the missing link between a dream and a wish.

A dream is a fantasy lived only while asleep

But, a wish has a compass; vast, far, and deep.

A dream can bring true the wish never thought

As your mind wanders aimlessly and your feelings are sought.

But, a wish is just a simple, momentary undertaking;

A grasping of things that are still in the making.

Now, my understanding of a wish and a dream

Have broadened my scope - or so it would seem -

But, still I'm confused and nothing seems clear

Because you are a wish; yet, a dream so dear.

With the dawn of each day, I wish for your sight;

Visions of love turned to dreams in the night.

But, if I were to approach with some indication

Would I strengthen our friendship or cause it's destination?

So I'll just remain a friend with heart-filled intentions 

And not risk losing you forever due to lovestruck mentions...

You see, this my confusion, my struggle, my fight...

But, until I am sure - you'll remain a dream in the night.

I've been called aggressive, straightforward, direct, and (on occasion) "mannish".  Actually, I am flattered by each of these adjectives.  I prefer to remove all doubt at the onset of a relationship because I have always been sure of my feelings.  I move with certainty in most aspects of my life.  I would much rather know that potential exists as opposed to stressing over probabilities that may not.

I welcome challenges, changes, and nuance.  I get the most pleasure by exploring the depths of my lover's mind, delving into the fantasies that only we can bring to life, and knowing that no relationship should ever conform to the boundaries of another.  Many may not understand the chemistry between another coupling - but, in my opinion, no one other than the two souls that are intertwined ever should.  The only way to fully enjoy your Yon is to become the perfect Yang.

To many, this can be appreciated because, even if I am wrong, I can forge a friendship based on truth rather than hidden agendas and lust.  Childhood crushes are for children.  When I was a child, I did childish things.  But, when I became a man, I put aside childish things.  If you are going through an emotional tug-of-war with your heart and mind, put an end to it.  Step up to the plate and swing.  You may just knock it out of the park...

But, this is only ONE Man's  Opinion...  What do you think?

What Goes Around, Comes Around...

I recently received an email from a female reader and she summed up her situation in a rather lengthy explanation.  Apparently, she was involved with a man who chose another woman over her, but he still opted to keep her as a friend and confidant.  Now, after spending some time as girlfriend #2, she has become the sounding board for her ex as he goes through problems in his current relationship.  At the end of that failed relationship, he has come to her for solace, but she confides in me that she feels like she should be saying I told you so instead of offering him milk and cookies and kissing his wounds.  In essence, she asks, "Should I feel good or bad because my ex's ex is treating him badly?"

As she explained in her letter, the mixed feelings that stemmed from the raw emotion of her love's rejection blinded her from running away from her lover-turned-friend.  She attempted to subdue her own feelings in exchange for a fake friendship that was held together by one-sided conversations and meaningless sex.  According to her, she continued to be in his presence with the hope that he would, one day, realize that she was everything he'd ever wanted; a non-judgmental friend, confidant, and friend. Still, she allowed this "friend with benefits" to date others freely as she lowered her standards and watched silently as the object of her affections carelessly played with her heart.

HBCU Freaknik: No Longer A Celebration of Pride

It's SPRING BREAK in the most densely populated collegiate area in the entire southeast region; however, Atlanta is no longer a viable destination for those looking to enjoy this much needed break from school...

It is sad... Although previous "Freaknik" celebrations have brought millions in revenue to the city of Atlanta, they will forever be looked upon as negative ventures because no legal permits or ways of tracking the positive influx of cash into the city's economy were properly filed. Instead, the Dogwood Festival (held on the same weekend) has continually benefited from the positive impact of the Freaknik spending while the largest HBCU Spring Break will only be looked upon as unwelcomed, disorganized chaos. When will the organizers learn that in order to become a welcomed attraction to the city, you must simply learn to know all the rules?

Having served on several of the city's planning committees and being a part of city council meetings and organizational plannings, the only problem the city has with "FREAKNIK" is the name.  I would like to officially toss my hat in the ring and seek out other organizers and promoters willing to lend their name to an upstanding event that the city can be proud to call an annual HBCU Spring Break.  By giving it a dignified name and a schedule of events that cater specifically to the collegiate arena, this celebration can serve as proof of the economic might of the African American dollar.

From Influence To Inspiration: Finding The Faith To Move On

Sometimes, life seems to be a road filled with stumbling blocks.  But, those who learn to navigate the troubles of life are the ones we look to as heroes.  

Sometimes, we find heroes in the most unlikely of places.  Rather than those who we consider to be upstanding in the community or pillars of truth, we find greater strength in those who have triumphed over diversities.  Whether they have overcome the hardships of bitter marriages, drug addictions, spiritual trials or fleshly battles, a hero can only be defined by those who are in need of direction at that moment in time.

As no one is truly able to ever "cast the first stone" in life, we all find influence and/or inspiration in those who surround us.  An influence could be either negative or positive.  They provide us with the tools and persuasions to move toward an obtainable goal.  They feed our minds with the energy of possibilities; yet, they do little or nothing to fuel our spirits.  Without them, the desire to reach the same goals may not exist or (with time) may wain altogether.

An inspiration; however, is completely different.  The inspirational anchors in our lives provide us with living examples of trials and triumphs.  They provide us with a reference point for situations in our lives that are paralleled by their own.  We draw the strength that we need in order to successfully endure our battles and believe in the possibility of overcoming adversities based on their public testimony.