Nothing More Than A Name - Or Is It?

As a student in my junior high and high school years, I became an avid reader.  I enjoyed the range of writings between the works of Langston Hughes, Edgar Allen Poe and William Shakespeare.  It was Shakespeare who wrote the famous line, “A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet”. 

In Shakespeare’s sonnet, he was speaking of an inanimate object and the irrelevance of a name.  That line; however, could not be further from the truth when speaking about people and the implications of a the name.you choose to call them by.... 

 

I ask you: "Do we cripple some (not all) children mentally when we choose to call them by a nickname rather than the one we gave them at birth?"  In my opinion, I would say, “Yes”.

When a mother and father are first presented with the thought of a newborn child, they spend countless hours deciding on a name worthy of all their aspirations. Not only are they looking for a name that will set their child apart from others, but they look for a noble name that will bring prestige to its owner.

 

Then, just a few months after the birth, the parents denounce the name that they have searched for and adopt a lesser name. This playful “nickname” takes on a persona of its own and, in kind, gives birth to a personality that sometimes rebels against the original ideals of the child’s name.
Allow me to explain...

Imagine this: William James Johnson was born into a middle class family and was encouraged to exceed in all he could.  His teachers, principles, pastor and church family all called him William for years.  And, in turn, William excelled.

Reaching his formative years, William began to venture out with friends and older family members.  They called him “Willie J” and he, too, refers to himself as “Willie J” whenever he wanted to break away from the conformity of church, school, and home.  "Willie J" was praised by his peers for being a smooth talking, cool, athletic womanizer.  In contrast, William was rarely acknowledged for speaking properly, excelling in school or helping out around the house.  In fact, those attributes were often used to make fun of his nerdy, "educated self." Eventually, William faded into Willie J's shadow...  "Willie J" replaced William in every aspect of his life and the next time William James Johnson heard his birth name called as it should have been, he was shackled in a court of law.  

But, by then, it was much too late.  His new nickname is currently Prisoner #C46689902-12.  Visiting hours are Saturdays between 12 and 6 with pre-approval.

Do you think I am over exaggerating?    

To some extent, I am.  But, take a moment and examine your list of friends.  How many do you know by nicknames that actually describe their personality better than their own name?  Which name do you believe that they were “groomed to become”?  Which name sounds like a positive influence?  Which name sounds like a public joke?

Have you ever wondered why we destroy the positive path that we dream of for our children by giving them nicknames that allow them to "act out" through a two-dimensional personalty under the guise of an adopted name?  Are we subconsciously giving our youths a "way out" if the fail to meet our expectations?  When they lose their own identity to the persona from which we expect less, we forget to correct their paths.  Sometimes, we unwillingly laugh along as their grades fall, their dreams fade, and their chances of becoming great simply disappear…

There are two sides to every coin... Just as some words can destroy a person's character, other words can reinforce their strengths.  Athletic coaches create great athletes by mentally allowing them to live up to their great "stage name". 

Actors and rappers create convincing characters in order to sell a different being to the public.   For example, Sean Combs changed his name after each bad experience in his life as a symbolic gesture of starting over with a  clean slate.  

Even T.I. realizes that the name creates an "alter ego" that is - sometimes - hard to live up to since they have a different set of rules and a different level of expectancy.  

But, these examples were fortunate exceptions.  There are also negatives.  Again, survey your neighborhoods and see how many children's REAL names you actually know....  

Maybe it is time to call a spade a spade.  I have never had a nickname.  My mother has always encouraged me to excel in the path of the name she chose for me; not a moniker that was adopted years later based on what was popular for the moment.  By her calling me by my name, I believed that she always expected my best.  In kind, I  refer to all of my relatives by their names - especially my nephews.  If they have nicknames, I remain unaware of them.  

In my presence, none of my nephews are called “Lil Man”, “Dee”, or something other than their given names.  Anything less would mean that I am asking less of them  - and accepting whatever we get back.   I call them by their names because I want to remind them of the world that exists beyond their social clicks and neighborhood hang-outs.  I want to see them raise the standard of manhood; not succumb to a two-dimensional facet of their true possibilities.  And, most importantly, I want them to remain competitive in society - not just in their social click.   

You see, I hold myself responsible for each interaction I have with the men of tomorrow.  I remain a steward of the perception that I impress upon them. 

Harlem

by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

      Does it dry up

      like a raisin in the sun?

      Or fester like a sore—

      And then run?

      Does it stink like rotten meat?

      Or crust and sugar over—

      like a syrupy sweet?

      Maybe it just sags

      like a heavy load.

      Or does it explode?

Lansgton Hughes was on to something.  It was just up to you as the reader to truly understand...  But, I digress... I could go on and on.  But, I realize that this is just ONE Man's Opinion.... What is yours?