May You Suffer Just The Same...

May You Suffer Just The Same

written July 19, 2020

My heart has just been crumbled into a chalky, dark red sand.

I just can't go on loving you, I am no longer the same man.

Strangely, I don't feel your venom as it courses through my veins

But, even as my heart grows numb; each beat forces out new pains.

I never meant to become the villain in your day-to-day nightmare,

I've only wanted to cherish you and show you how much I care.

But, your secret rendezvous, midnight texts, and x-rated video dates

Have made me became your nemesis and you've already sealed my fate.

Now, other men have your attention, your friendship, and your devotion,

And I've lost my place in your frozen heart as it fills with my demotion.

You say that I'm the problem as your affairs publicly evolve -

And you wonder when I'll finally notice that we're no longer involved.

You've weakened every vessel within my broken heart,

And still, I cling helplessly to you as my whole life falls apart.

You've ciphered every single resource as if money grows on trees

As you disregard my feelings; as I no longer serve your needs.

To you, I'm no more than a nameless face in an ever-growing crowd;

Just another one of your super fans; a digital patron in the clouds.

I was, once, your handsome knight who saved you from despair

But your words of anger soon revealed that you never even cared.

You once felt safe In my arms: now, you hate that I'm still breathing. 

And instead of  mending our relationship, you schedule secret meetings.

I've sacrificed and lost everything, and still, you require more and more

And, like a fool, I work day and night while other men come knocking at my door.

You've drained of all my energy; I'm just a sheep being led to slaughter 

While you date others openly and laugh - but, not always in that order.

You've watched my barren soul descend deeper into your hell.

My best friend, your ex's brother, your mom's new beau - they've all been conjured by your spell.

Memories of our times together have been replaced - one after the other;

And I've stopped existing as I once was as I bitterly become some other.

Yes, it seems that I've  been fooled by love and I gave my heart too freely;

Thinking you'd reciprocate and not be so damned deceiving.

You see, a tiger never changes stripes, nor does a cheetah get new spots.

And I'm not the first, nor am I the last in your chain of broken hearts.

I choose not to warn your next victims - I have my selfish reasons; 

Maybe kharma will visit you and let vengance have open season.

To keep others guessing your true identity, you slander my good name;

Leaving proof of your affairs to be found by me while telling others I've gone insane.

Confusion caused by our back and forth have made our friends all turn away;

But that just means fewer prying eyes as you go about your day.

New suitors have ignored the signs that would deter a wiser man

As you continue using sex as your weapon of choice - over and over again.

So, willingly, I finally free myself from the torture of this game;

Knowing one day soon, you'll  meet your match and suffer just the same.

May You Suffer Just The Same. 

The Freedom of A Willow Tree

As a child, I once wrote a poem that, unintentionally, angered my mother; a poem about my own demise.  She thought that, at the age of 9, I was far too young to even consider my own end.  But, even still, I can recall the words of this poem to this day along with  the whimsical imagination of a child.

Ssurely, everyone must die - but I wanted a celebration of a life worthy of remembrance.   Seemingly,  my thoughts about how to handle my remains have gone unchanged for over thirty years....

My Willow Tree

by Sean C. Robinson

Summer 1979

When I die, I’d like to be

Placed beneath a willow tree;

A strong, but silent, willow tree

That weeps for none but me.

So, place my ashes in an urn

And bury me after I am burned.

Allow me to be born again

In branches and leaves that dance in the wind.

Yes, when I die, I’d like to be

Born again as a willow tree.

So, when you visit,
don’t cry for thee

Because my willow
will always weep for me.

And I’ll grow strong and offer shade

And live with family throughout my days

As a strong and silent willow tree

That watches over years of family.

So after I have left this earthly frame

Bury me so I might live again

As a  strong, but silent, willow tree

That weeps for none but me.

More recently, I  met with a group of friends and discussed the fact that, culturally, we often forget that death is a part of the cycle of life. 

  

We fail to plan ahead and; therefore, leave our families with undue expenses at a time when stress and poor decision making skills are at a all-time high.  As a favor to ourselves and our families, we all decided to take a moment and do three things that would help ease the pain of our transitions:

• Create, notarize, and file our final will, 
• Open a savings account at a black owned bank and deposit funds for our funerals, and 
• If we are organ donors, we would designate how our organs are to be used to help other family members in need rather than just left for general distribution by the funeral homes / hospitals.

By doing these things in advance, many of the hard decisions that plague our surviving family members are removed.  Families often bicker over last minute details and a funeral is the wrong place to birth new hostilities.  So, by thinking of others even as you think of yourself, you may quail the tensions  of family division long before they become an issue.

I want a peaceful home going celebration.  I know what songs I would like to be played, how I would like to be remembered, and what I’d like to see done with the monies left behind from various insurance policies.  By creating scholarships, trust funds, and allocating property, it is safe to say we can all create a legacy that will begin to build generations of wealth long after we have left this realm.

But, alas, this is just ONE Man’s Opinion…. What about you?