Life continues to amaze me....
Some friends and I were out eating at a local BOB and enjoying a hearty, round table discussion. Suddenly, an associate who had joined us blurted out - loudly and a little annoyed - "I see you, man. You're the centerpiece of this whole ensemble! I'm just going to call you King Arthur all night.". Laughingly, he just sat back and enjoyed the conversations for the rest of the evening. Occasionally, he would point out proof of his discovery each time I'd make remarks or offer my own advice to my friends around this round table.
It seems that our guest had unwittingly become aware that I was a different person to each one of my friends seated ergonomically around the table. Watching my multifaceted personality revolve through so many ongoing conversations without losing my place, he realized that the members of my entourage all looked to me for different reasons; be it strength, reinforcement, or weakness. I, on the other hand, acted as guide and advisor; living vicariously through their experiences.
Like an unwilling culinary student peeling back the layers of a sweet Vidalia, he watched my chameleon-like persona as I unraveled one friends quandaries to reveal their common denominator and simultaneously pieced together another's missteps to uncover his needs. Because I've always been a logical student of life, these talents came easily because I've always been able to remove emotional content from my decision making processes. This "talent" has always been both, my blessing and my curse - but it was, still, a talent that seemingly blessed others while stifling my own personal experiences.
You see, my ability to favor the rationalie over the emotional has allowed me to wean vicariously through the experiences of others; never really having to live through a given situation to wholly embrace it. Because of this, I am able to clearly resolve issues as our symbiotic relationships flourish due to my shielding somewhat parental, advisory role allows me to spew opinion through a straightforward delivery.
My peaceful resolve with my ENTJ personality has come after years of self evaluation, annual reviews, hard choice separations and wisely picked associations. Treating my personal branding as an entrepreneurial exploit, I've created an outward "representative" who successfully interacts with the world. In direct contrast, my true character finds itself intertwined betwixt the real and superficial worlds we each live in daily. My studies of religion, biorythms, astrology, and reasoning have created a protective buffer that enables me to remain unscathed on my emotionless journey through this dimension. Yet, it leaves a yearning in my core that wonders about the detachment of my social interactions and raises questions as to whether or not I am truly living to my fullest extent or simply experiencing life as an orbital with no real connection to those around me.
It has taken me decades to champion this ongoing volley of ideologies, but I've made peace with the man that I am. Remaining reserved, but direct and blunt,, but considerate, I have embraced the beauty of my simple, complexed persona. I easily identify the attributes of my circle and strategically empower the strengths and weaknesses of my surroundings. I avoid confrontation and circumvent distractions while looking at both, the beginning and the end of life's labyrinth.
To gain access to the real "me" is a great thing, if I must say so myself. I am a loyal friend, an attentive lover, and I find pleasure and excitement in successful outcomes. Only a handful of people can say they've truly experienced all of me, but all who have had the pleasure of calling me an acquaintance are pleased with the charm and consistent character they've entertained. I guess what I am trying to say is this: "I like me and, given the chance, you will, too".
So peal back the layers. Embrace the intricacies of my focused wandering. Laugh at my naivety and challenge my well grounded opinions. In the end, we'll both be better, well rounded individuals.
Now, I emplore you to subject yourself to consider the same self-scrutiny on a regular basis. Once you've honestly embraced all of your own idiosyncrasies and weirdly right-for-you nuances, can you say the same about yourself? Do you like you? And, if I were to actually meet the real you, would I like them too?
But alas, these are only the ponderings of ONE Man's Opinion. What say ye?