I recently encountered a friend who left me with a challenging thought: "If the person that you think you are were to meet the person everyone knows you to be, would those two people like each other? Would they even recognize each other?"
This stumped me for a moment . I am always the one advising others on how to manage their perceptions, but had I done enough to successfully manage my own? You see, everyone wears an emotional mask at some point throughout their lives. We hide our vulnerabilities, protect our hearts, and sugarcoat the truth by creating a public persona unlike ourselves.
We willfully subscribe to the idea of having a "representative" speak on our behalf; often projecting a more sound image of ourselves to the world. Some people choose to conceal the scars that molded them by failing to acknowledge their pain. Others dwell in re-living their "glory days;" never growing beyond those experiences. You've seen them, they commonly end their sentence with, "Those were the good old days..." Ultimately, we all attempt to create an alter ego for the public. How different is your representative from you?
Your representative is that personality that leads the conversation and answers questions with your own personal swagger; be ye nerd or be ye knight. This alternate personality acts as a buffer between you and the world. It allows you to deal with life without truly embracing the experiences of others. You can conceal your true feelings behind politically correct candor. Your representative can forge workplace associations; yet, establish no new friendships. This personality is who you want to be: strong, confident, sound., slightly above the fray, aware.
But, aside from this persona, how are you perceived by others? Regardless of your intent, people may view you as anything ranging from a mentor to today's comedic relief. Some people see beyond the faux representative and may consider you to be insincere and untrustworthy. And, no matter how much you try to groom your representative after the surveys have come in, "perception is -and always will be - reality".
If the people around you don't see you as you see you, who really has the problem?